At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
