"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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