I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
