fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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