roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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