"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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