haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
should my penis look like a turkey
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
