i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
