party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
