She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she pinky promised me she was 18
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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