He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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