lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
