guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize