Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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