no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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