it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's official drugs can't kill me
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
