Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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