Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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