it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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