There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
