Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm too high and old for this...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
