Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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