theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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