After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
