I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
