taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
