1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
