I'm going to jail i love you
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
