It's a beautiful day for a hangover
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize