No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
