When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
