haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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