It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
