NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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