I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize