Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
