Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
