it was like his penis was on wheels.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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