So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
