If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
