Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
and you fell through a lawn chair
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
