ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
