Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
