Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
