Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
