I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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