so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
