Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
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