I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
