I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
