your room smells of hookers.
And success
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
