Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize