Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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