So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
