You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
