How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
