I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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