i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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