this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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