you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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