i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
