let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Found your dick twin last night
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize