she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
