I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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