ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
