Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
