Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
