Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
