i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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