im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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