pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
