she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
